Bond...

It is weird you can form relationships at seemingly unbelievable places…

I did… or rather we did…. With a beautiful bird …. The purple sunbird… and his companion the brown one…

It all started one day when we noticed few sprigs, dirt on our porch… and realized one day that a pair of sunbirds had started building their nest on our toran…

Extremely happy with this new development, me and Anand tried to take care of it although it would fly away at our slightest presence… we started scaring our neighbourhood cat whenever she would visit our house…

And so began a cycle of affection where the pair would come for a few days, chirp around quite loudly, sit on the braches of the little plants in our garden and then fly away…. Then came the first laying of eggs…. Although we never ever saw their little ones…. That was the only time when either of them would be in the nest and although afraid of us, didn't fly away…. And same was our instinct for them for we decided to support the toran to avoid falling off to the ground….

We never got to know the little ones for they soon flew away in our absence…. And after a lull of few months…  the pair came again…. A little bold or should I say accustomed to our presence….

But alas such is the circle of life that although we never really had anything to with it… the cat had its way this time…. Taking away the nest and the little ones inside…. And before I could try and run for it …. The game was over….

I am sad at their loss and also mine…. But I hope they come once again this year….  

To my dear little purple and brown sunbird….

The next big step...

We are always expected to be what the society perceives us... A good human, helping others, excelling at studies and jobs, be good at maintaining relationships etc. etc. 

But all these are comparatively easy I feel now.... since we have our parents, teachers, guides and bosses to help us all the way through. Sure, we fall and get hurt but in the end we learn to stand up and move forward.

And now, when I am about to bring another human in this world, I wonder if I am capable enough to provide him/her that kind of understanding and maturity that I have received through the years.... I believe I am a good person and have been nice to others.... I just don't know if I can succeed in taking that forward... Oh yes... I am soon to be a mother and though the support system is strong as always.... I am doubting myself... Everybody says the emotional upheaval is expected.... "Hormonal"... yeah sure...

But I have kind of started thinking about my flaws more and more... the mistakes I have made.... the lessons I have learnt... and though when I head to my professional life , I feel like I can do everything, I am worried about this one... its a big responsibility and although I feel like it, its really seems so difficult...

To nurture a child not only with food and education but to instill in him good values, respect for others, their cultures and traditions.... to be able to create a person good enough that others will look up to him, a person who will succeed in life no matter what obstacles are in front of him and spread love and happiness around him.... well its a mighty big task.... and I sure as hell want to excel in this one....

To all those whom I have may hurt in the past, I ask for forgiveness...
And to those who have helped me along the way .... a truly great big thanks.... from the bottom of my heart....