Musings....

Remembering nicknames, mannerisms, accents and just having fun...

In the process of growing up, we learn so much from each other that we don't even realise how much they have affected us... consciously and subconsciously.... 

Years later when we meet again, we smile, we laugh, we share and compliment freely.... on the same things we had been a snob about earlier...

We move away in different directions, each finding a path of his own.... yet somewhere connected with that common bond we had with each other.... of those school punishments.... teachers with weird accents... injuries and victories.... shared lunch boxes and petty fights...

Long after when we have realised that those trophies and medals that we fought for are nothing in the cruel grown up world.... we yearn for those cherished moments of mass bunks, rain dances, chits and notes passed during lectures.... 

Those inconsequential moments that bonded us with each other for life.... those innocent little moments of life..... when all you had to do was rise and shine.... and take each glowing day in your stride... not thinking about what lay ahead....

Well growing up is difficult.... but the new technologies of virtual world are reducing distances between people.... and these small little happy musings are a result of that.... bringing me closer to my friends back again.... and showing that the grown up world is not so difficult after all.... only if you have your dear ones nearby.... if not physically then virtually....

Dedicated to all my dear friends...............

Bandhavgarh... tiger glory...

To view a tiger in all its glory and abandon is truly a great and amazing experience....
And I was the fortunate one to have that in probably the last bastions of the majestic beast in Bandhavgarh India.

The tiger however was no so easy to find... and like all good things in life you have to have patience and perseverance to witness something so beautiful...

Sunrises, dusty roads, an eerie stillness to the forest trails and an occasional calls from various animals were all that greeted us and an equally enthusiastic couple all the way from UK during our rides on a 4 x 4.

Each time a call would ring, anticipation would rise to its zenith and we would wait for a glimpse of the great one.

Eventually, at one of the spots, a sighting was noticed, and once again we waited, praying to delay the sunset just so we could observe the three cubs and their latest kill.... we did... but the zooming lens from   our cameras proved unnerving to the young cubs and our short elephant literally scrambled for its life... In that fleeting moment, w really understood what it must feel like to be the food of that animal....

Next day, it was turning out to be a disappointment when to spice things up, our tour guide suggested a little detour.... and soon as we saw another jeep waiting patiently, we knew we had hit jackpot...

Within moments, we heard rustling behind the tall bamboo trees and seconds later a tigress appeared....

Gracefully she came out of the woods, saw us, and decided to reward us with her gracious presence...

Like a movie star obliging her fans on the red carpet, she turned and posed, looked around for her competitors and marked her territory.... gave us another fleeting pose and proceeded to climb on the mountain on the other side....

The whole scenario lasted for about a minute but is clearly etched in my memory.... Never will I forget this wonderful moment ....literally... "She came, she saw and she conquered"....

Bond...

It is weird you can form relationships at seemingly unbelievable places…

I did… or rather we did…. With a beautiful bird …. The purple sunbird… and his companion the brown one…

It all started one day when we noticed few sprigs, dirt on our porch… and realized one day that a pair of sunbirds had started building their nest on our toran…

Extremely happy with this new development, me and Anand tried to take care of it although it would fly away at our slightest presence… we started scaring our neighbourhood cat whenever she would visit our house…

And so began a cycle of affection where the pair would come for a few days, chirp around quite loudly, sit on the braches of the little plants in our garden and then fly away…. Then came the first laying of eggs…. Although we never ever saw their little ones…. That was the only time when either of them would be in the nest and although afraid of us, didn't fly away…. And same was our instinct for them for we decided to support the toran to avoid falling off to the ground….

We never got to know the little ones for they soon flew away in our absence…. And after a lull of few months…  the pair came again…. A little bold or should I say accustomed to our presence….

But alas such is the circle of life that although we never really had anything to with it… the cat had its way this time…. Taking away the nest and the little ones inside…. And before I could try and run for it …. The game was over….

I am sad at their loss and also mine…. But I hope they come once again this year….  

To my dear little purple and brown sunbird….

The next big step...

We are always expected to be what the society perceives us... A good human, helping others, excelling at studies and jobs, be good at maintaining relationships etc. etc. 

But all these are comparatively easy I feel now.... since we have our parents, teachers, guides and bosses to help us all the way through. Sure, we fall and get hurt but in the end we learn to stand up and move forward.

And now, when I am about to bring another human in this world, I wonder if I am capable enough to provide him/her that kind of understanding and maturity that I have received through the years.... I believe I am a good person and have been nice to others.... I just don't know if I can succeed in taking that forward... Oh yes... I am soon to be a mother and though the support system is strong as always.... I am doubting myself... Everybody says the emotional upheaval is expected.... "Hormonal"... yeah sure...

But I have kind of started thinking about my flaws more and more... the mistakes I have made.... the lessons I have learnt... and though when I head to my professional life , I feel like I can do everything, I am worried about this one... its a big responsibility and although I feel like it, its really seems so difficult...

To nurture a child not only with food and education but to instill in him good values, respect for others, their cultures and traditions.... to be able to create a person good enough that others will look up to him, a person who will succeed in life no matter what obstacles are in front of him and spread love and happiness around him.... well its a mighty big task.... and I sure as hell want to excel in this one....

To all those whom I have may hurt in the past, I ask for forgiveness...
And to those who have helped me along the way .... a truly great big thanks.... from the bottom of my heart....

Fried...

Fried… I always wondered how that feeling would be… when you are so deep into something that by the time the job is finished… you feel like all your energy, enthusiasm… even creativity is empty… I am feeling it today and surprisingly… I am happy with it… Because with it, there is also a huge sense of accomplishment, fulfillment and enrichment about having completed a major milestone.. No doubt I am tired and exhausted but I am also happy and relaxed now… Why do we feel like that? How can one be happy and empty at the same time? My mind is empty so much that I dont know what to write ahead...