The "Date"

There is a beautiful long stemmed deep red rose kept in a delicately carved vase in front of me. I am sitting in a cafe with lots of cozy comfortable seating. A nice table and a tasty menu is laid out before me. And I am waiting.... waiting for him.

He saunters in and at least a few glances comes his way. He is my best friend and I love him a lot... and the meeting is important. The cafe, the environment, the red rose is being selected with utmost care. I have taken pains to dress myself and when I see him coming in with a lovely smile on his face, I see that he too has picked out his best outfit...

He comes in and sits next to me... Both of us anxious, eager to see what... This meeting today is really really important... And so he does....

- You OK?
- Ya... I am fine ? you?
- Looking nice...
- You too...
- That colour suits you really well...
- And this shirt of yours is my favourite!

He pauses, me too...

And she comes in.... She is looking beautiful... We both looking at her... She throws a lovely smile at us...

And I get a premonition...

Oh wait... let me tell you why I am here...

I am to meet my best friend's best girl... to meet her... to judge her.... to get to know her...

My best friend... the smart, dashing guy everyone has eyes on... has lost it on this one.... and me being the best friend.... well you get the point!!!

She is looking absolutely stunning... He totally floored... and me jealous... well the way they both are exchanging glances... I can already see losing my best friend... I know I should not be... but I am jealous... and so we try a conversation...

- Hi, how are you?
- Hello, I am fine....
- How long have you been waiting?
- Hmm... just a few minutes.... (Actually half an hour... I hate late comers... but...)
- Ya... I got stuck in traffic...
- (or make up.... my mind..) Smile!!!
- I have heard so much about you...
- Ya... same here... (Did I just notice a smirk????)

He is shuttling between both of us... gauging our reactions... trying to read into them...

I sit there talking to her... and I realize why my best friend is floored.... she is perfect.... She is beautiful... well at par with my dashing best friend... She has delicate features, stunning long hair and extremely well choice.. (clothes... and men too)... she selected my best friend...

Our order comes and I see her serving him nicely after wiping those forks and spoons properly. She chews little... maintains a perfect smile all through the conversation and I genuinely like her... she is the sort of girl I would have selected for him...

But... herein comes the "BUT"...

She doesn't like me... He for the one doesn't quite relate to this... you see all men are stupid... so he probably would never understand why his best friend and his best girl who appear all buddy-buddy will ever think that way...

But... I get this...

She hates me... she tries to be perfect for him but I can understand those smirks, those glances perfectly... the way her eyes light up when he praises her... and the way I get the "look" when he is telling her all the fun we had in our childhood... the way she asks me as to why I don't have a boyfriend... the way I can sense the insecurity in her...

I want to tell her... I want to hold her shoulders and shake her out of this trance of hers... But I don't ... I try to convince her with my best "indifferent" behaviour towards my best friend ... But she is not convinced... I want to tell her...

Girl... he is yours.. He is and he will be... but yes is my best friend... and I love him... so don't be afraid.... Don't be insecure... I'll stand in the way if anything makes you both disturbed...

I want to tell her....

Yes girl... We still chat for hours... but 80% of the time is about you ... we still go to cafes... but now to the ones you like... we still go to shopping... but the gifts are for your little anniversaries.... yes we watch movies... but my turn is second ... and I don't get a popcorn!!

Yes girl... he shares everything with me... but then you are the one with whom everything has been shared first.... He misses out to wish me before my "big days" but never fails to wish a good morning to you...

We reminisce about our days... and I sense the regret he feels that you were not a part of those memories... Yes girl... he is my best friend... but more than that now.... he is yours....

The Accident.

My life in Mumbai is related to the tracks.... I am late for my regular train (as usual) and like a true Mumbaikar, I run towards the Railway crossing. Using the Foot over bridge for getting to the station is so not "Mumbaiya". We, Mumbaikar's pride ourselves for being able to run across the tracks just in nick of time to catch our lifeline....

So I go ahead and I notice a group of people standing right in the middle of tracks... looking down... It doesn't take me a moment to realise what has happened...

Some body has got "Cut". You see that's the word for losing one's life on the tracks.... Everybody is looking in that direction; tense, anxious and praying to GOD to let that person be alive... I am shocked, I freeze in my path but then I don't have the courage to go further and prod. I am too numb... You see though I get to hear these stories, its the first time I am actually seeing this.... I somehow reach the station, wait to hear what people have to say.... about Who?, How? and what happened?

My train arrives, I get inside and manage to find a seat. I sit down and say Hi's and Hello's to my regular co-passengers. I tell them about the accident. They too express shock, disbelief and start recounting other such accidents... I am still numb... feeling bad... I had had a good morning and now it has worsened.

I hear people say that adequate facilities are not available at the station. And that the government does nothing for us commoners.... the general lamenting.

I keep listening and keep feeling bad. I put on my headphones and start listening to my favourite play list, hoping to cheer myself... I have a lot to catch at work today... After a few minutes people are bored of the subject and the talks divert to regular subjects... Children, Education, Price Hike...

I am little upset about so less of a concern shown by the people.... I mean that person could have been anyone... How can they be so indifferent? Weird isn't it?

And then it struck me...

Wait a second....

What did I do? I got a train, put in my headphones and lament the people, the authorities for whatever they did not do... I could have been there.... helped that person... I did not... I did not help.... A small tear forms and I cannot stop cursing myself....

Some part of my brain tells me that how much I may have wanted to help. I could never have the courage to look at that sight...

But that justification does not help.... Its not enough and it will never be enough....